Are you in your happy space now?
Are you happy where you are today? Do you know where your happy space is?
When are you the happiest? Being with your family, with your friends, or by yourself?
What does being happy mean to you?
Does it mean being free and unrestrained? Free to do what you want with no limitations? 
Just a note though, being too free can backfire…
Does being happy means getting to be out and about, or making new friends?
When you have the right people in your life, even a small circle of friends worth more than the number of friends you have on the social platform.
So many people have huge groups of friends and lots of activities and events to attend to every weekend but they always feel inadequate and lonely inside.
That was the same as what I felt. I was happy when I was out with my friends, whether we were going for dinners or partying.
Together we did things that I would never have attempted alone, we learned together, and more often than not, we took risks together. It was exciting, it felt like you belong.
Except that I was extremely bored and unhappy whenever I was not meeting them or connected with them in some ways, or being left alone.
As a result, I learned to conform.
I would not argue with my opinions too much, I was always going along with what the crowd wanted, I agreed with whatever activities they wanted to do, (I was okay with anything literally). I wanted to be part of the group and I didn’t want to be alone.
When I was alone, there was always a ringing silence of frustration, boredom and uneasiness.
I was uneasy being by myself. 
I was seeking company, in large numbers to define my level of happiness. I thought the more friends I have, the more I would feel fulfilled and accepted. It felt powerful and good to be part of a bigger group. It was ego boosting.
But I was not happy inside.
When friendships break, relationships fail and I was left alone with no one to talk to, refusing to bring anything up at home not wanting to be told, “I told you so”, I was really feeling all alone and confused, left to work things out all by myself.
Finding My Own Happy Space, Internally
I hadn’t learned to spend time with myself then.
At that time, it felt being alone was not a good thing. Being alone felt like a loner and a loser in the eyes of others and myself.
As I spent more time alone by myself, I also learned more about myself that I could ever realise.
What I never realised before, was that the one person who is most important to me would be… ME!
It took me a long while of exploration and finding answers to realise that
  • I am indeed my own best friend
  • I am someone who would live with me till I grow old
  • I am the only friend I have who can stay and will stay by my side through my ups and downs my whole life 
  • I am the only person who would be able to love and care for myself, thoroughly
  • I know what I want, and I know what my heart wants
I also found out that
  • Everything I do to seek approval from my family or friends, I was giving my power to be myself away
  • Every time I say yes to something I wanted to say no to, I was not loving myself enough. 
  • Every time I choose not to stand up to some comments or insults from others, just because I was scared of speaking up, I was doing myself a disservice. I was not respecting myself enough. 
  • Every time I allowed someone to make use of my being, to dictate what I do, I was not valuing myself. 

As I learned my way through my challenges, as I learned to pick myself up again after each failure and mistake, I was learning more about myself.
I was growing my inner self and developing myself to be a better person.
I began to discover my strengths and weaknesses, what I like and dislike. I learned to face up to my inner hurdles.
Nowadays, I enjoy spending time by myself. I can do whatever I want without seeking the opinion of others.
I enjoy travelling and visiting places on my own.
I know what my heart wants because I talk to her so frequently. And no, I’m not crazy. But I am connected to what I need. Whenever I deviate from what my inner self wants, I would feel really uneasy.
Because I was connected with myself inside, I know what I need to make myself happy as well. 
And I know what makes me unhappy so I can avoid them.
I have found myself a strong support circle, even though small, I know I can depend on them whenever I need advice and support. Not simply large groups of hi-bye friends who only share my happiness but not my troubles and bad times.
While doing activities with friends bring positive and immense support and experience, doing things and being by yourself offer a whole new world of experience.
Find your happy space.
Being Alone Does NOT Mean You Are Alone
No matter what stage of life you are in now, whatever difficulties you’re feeling, whether you feel lost and alone, or frustrated and angry, unhappy or depressed. If you are facing any emotional issues or internal struggles, know that You Are Not Alone.
Do not ever, ever feel that nobody cares, because there is always someone who cares, family or not. 
And, furthermore, you are your own best friend. 
If you really think you have no one to talk to, email me ANYTIME here.
What is important is to seek within yourself, know what you love doing, find out what you feel like trying and go ahead and try it out anyway, with or without the company of other.
Trust me, it is definitely worth the try.
If you would like to receive more updates or tips and advice, do subscribe to our mailing list.
Follow Me

2 Comments

How Much Are You Worth? - L³ Hub - Live. Learn. Laugh. · July 19, 2017 at 6:33 am

[…] .u5469262570a7c95a6aeade596e76f55a { padding:0px; margin: 0; padding-top:1em!important; padding-bot… […]

How To Be Alone and Not Lonely? - L³ Hub - Live. Learn. Laugh. · July 20, 2017 at 6:28 am

[…] .u0c396936b6438613fe16c49099454eb4 { padding:0px; margin: 0; padding-top:1em!important; padding-bot… […]

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Related Posts

attitude

How To Remove What’s Holding You Back From Achieving What You Want

Do you have trouble in trying to remove what’s holding you back from achieving what you want in life? You had big dreams, you set goals – whether it’s losing weight or changing a career Read more…

Appreciate

My Second Gap Year – What Have I Achieved?

Last year, I wrote about why you should have a gap year.  And, went on to embark on one myself. Since I quit my ‘real’ job in December 2016, I have been on a sabbatical Read more…

attitude

What If You Have No Talent?

Watching the talent show the other day, I sat in front of the telly thinking about how I could also pick up talents like these people could so easily do. Feeling inspired and intrigued, I picked Read more…

%d bloggers like this: