Are you in your happy space now?
Are you happy where you are today? Do you know where your happy space is?
When are you the happiest? Being with your family, with your friends, or by yourself?
What does being happy mean to you?
Does it mean being free and unrestrained? Free to do what you want with no limitations?
Just a note though, being too free can backfire…
Does being happy means getting to be out and about, or making new friends?
When you have the right people in your life, even a small circle of friends worth more than the number of friends you have on the social platform.
So many people have huge groups of friends and lots of activities and events to attend to every weekend but they always feel inadequate and lonely inside.
That was the same as what I felt. I was happy when I was out with my friends, whether we were going for dinners or partying.
Together we did things that I would never have attempted alone, we learned together, and more often than not, we took risks together. It was exciting, it felt like you belong.
Except that I was extremely bored and unhappy whenever I was not meeting them or connected with them in some ways, or being left alone.
As a result, I learned to conform.
I would not argue with my opinions too much, I was always going along with what the crowd wanted, I agreed with whatever activities they wanted to do, (I was okay with anything literally). I wanted to be part of the group and I didn’t want to be alone.
When I was alone, there was always a ringing silence of frustration, boredom and uneasiness.
I was uneasy being by myself.
I was seeking company, in large numbers to define my level of happiness. I thought the more friends I have, the more I would feel fulfilled and accepted. It felt powerful and good to be part of a bigger group. It was ego boosting.
But I was not happy inside.
When friendships break, relationships fail and I was left alone with no one to talk to, refusing to bring anything up at home not wanting to be told, “I told you so”, I was really feeling all alone and confused, left to work things out all by myself.
Finding My Own Happy Space, Internally
I hadn’t learned to spend time with myself then.
At that time, it felt being alone was not a good thing. Being alone felt like a loner and a loser in the eyes of others and myself.
As I spent more time alone by myself, I also learned more about myself that I could ever realise.
What I never realised before, was that the one person who is most important to me would be… ME!
It took me a long while of exploration and finding answers to realise that
I am indeed my own best friend
I am someone who would live with me till I grow old
I am the only friend I have who can stay and will stay by my side through my ups and downs my whole life
I am the only person who would be able to love and care for myself, thoroughly
I know what I want, and I know what my heart wants
I also found out that
Everything I do to seek approval from my family or friends, I was giving my power to be myself away
Every time I say yes to something I wanted to say no to, I was not loving myself enough.
Every time I choose not to stand up to some comments or insults from others, just because I was scared of speaking up, I was doing myself a disservice. I was not respecting myself enough.
Every time I allowed someone to make use of my being, to dictate what I do, I was not valuing myself.