Every come across life changing questions that you ask yourself? Do you know who you really are inside? How much do you know about yourself? And, what do you want for your future?

As we grow, there are definitely new things we will find out about ourselves. Sometimes, we need to ask ourselves tough questions to get to the answer we are searching for.

However, there will also be so many other distractions that will pull us away from what we want for ourselves in life.

Many call it the ‘Shiny Object Syndrome’.

You get distracted by the pretty, shiny stuff out there. Examples include ‘good job offer’, ‘high salary’, ‘amazing career’, ‘enticing career position’, ‘beautiful wedding’ and so on. Sometimes they can be as simple as the materialistic stuff around us, such as the latest iPhone, newest model of gaming accessories or even clothing trends.

Teen Life In The Past

Life has so much to offer, more so especially when we have the time and resources in the world today as compared to fifteen years ago when we basically just evolved from the first Motorola handheld phone.

I had my first mobile phone with Nokia 3330 during my teenage years.

I had to use my credits wisely. Calls were $0.30 per minute depending which provider you are calling, texting was $0.10 each with 160 word limits, and there were no visuals (we had MMS – Multimedia Messaging but it was too expensive), no Google, nor Candy Crush or media platform for sharing, until much later when we had Friendster and then MySpace before Facebook appear.

I also remember listening to cassettes on my Walkman before it got smashed… I remember the video cassette days before VCD and DVD came about. I also remember days, when I spent reading at home, playing stones when I was much younger, hanging out with my cousins, included cycling and picking fruits.

Life Today

It’s amazing to think of what we have today, so much more and so much faster. If we have to wait for more than ten seconds for a page to load, the connection sucks.

I could type much faster now, I could create a website on my own without ‘professional’ help, I could do SEO marketing, use PhotoShop and much more which I would never have known how to use if not for my drive to learn.

But progress over the years is nothing without reflecting and improving on ourselves. If we just meander through life, we will find that it passes very quickly and our time is limited here.

In order to progress, mentally and even physically or emotionally, there are questions that we need to ask ourselves, sometimes tough and painful questions that will change our perspectives in the end.

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Learning is a Lifelong Process

Learning is a big part of my life. Throughout my teen life, when I completed my secondary school at home and went off to study overseas, I have been learning.

Learning to live alone, learning to make friends, learning to face challenges and overcome difficulties myself, learning to manage my own money, learning to seek help and support without family by my side, learning to stand up again each time I stumbled and fell, and learning to apply my mistakes.

They say when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade but what if you hated anything to do with lemons?

It took many wrong turns and wrong decision making to learn my lessons. For a person who has achieved so much today, it has been a long and hard process of learning and growing the hard way.

I was never really in ‘bad’ situations, but I have never really been ‘lucky’ either. I am not dumb but I have also never been clever enough to realise what I was getting into sooner.

I would not deny I hadn’t been bad. I did anything that a young girl who was set free by restrictions being alone and away from home would think of, but I had my own limits. Among the bad things I learned, I also knew they were part of my life process to explore and know myself better.

I also learned to find activities and spend time on my own when I had no friends who were free to meet on weekends.

I learned to love and care for myself, but not until I started asking myself these questions. 

Questions To Ask Yourself

So, I just want to share questions that I would ask my fifteen-year-old self earlier, who had now just about to complete my final BIG O Level and start on my LONG holidays.

It felt like freedom at that time, but I actually spent the next few months doing pretty much nothing with my life at that point while waiting for results.

If there were questions that I could ask my fifteen-year-old self, it would be these:

  1. What is important to me? 
  2. What defines me?
  3. What do I think about myself?
  4. What matters to me
  5. What do I want to be?
  6. Do I know what I need? 
  7. Am I happy with being who I am? What do I need to do to be happy? 
  8. Do I have a life vision yet? If so, what is it? 
  9. What do I need to do to achieve my life vision? 
  10. What are my 10 years’ goals?
  11. Who do I love most?  Who matters to me? 
  12. Is there someone whom I can look up to as role model? 
  13. Do I know who to look for with my problems? Questions about Life? Advice on Life Ahead? Troubles at home? Issues with friends?
  14. Do I have strong support circle? Who do I go to if I have problems? 
  15. Do I give myself as much attention as I do to my friends
  16. Why am I ‘learning’ in school? Am I open to learning? 
  17. Am I taking up enough challenges? 
  18. Am I having enough time to Rest and Reflect? 
  19. What sort of person am I? Introvert? Extrovert? Optimistic / Pessimistic? Happy? Sad? 
  20. Do looks really matter? 
  21. How can I be a better person? What does being better mean to me?
  22. Am I doing anything productive with my time
  23. Do I assume? Too much? 
  24. Do I know what’s going on at home? Do I know what people I love are going through? 
  25. Am I communicating enough with my parents? Siblings? 
  26. Am I spending too much time on social media? What does it mean for me to ‘disconnect’?
  27. Do I know what I love doing? My hobbies? 
  28. Is/Are there any cause(s) that I would stand for? Am I speaking up or do I keep quiet?
  29. How can I improve myself? 
  30. Am I being a good person? Am I being a good friend? What does being a good person means to me? 


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Lessons Learned

  • The most delicate lessons come from dealing with people, not with problems.
  • The most mind-blown lessons come from experiences and situations, not from books.
  • The lesson that will stay etched in our minds forever is those that touched us, those that impacted us, those that we experience ourselves.Not exactly what our parents tell us or what we hear from others. There was actually a sense of rebellion in me when I was a teen that I wanted to prove others wrong, which was one of the reasons why I learned my lessons the hard way.Many times I felt the same when my parents gave me advice and I refused to listen, thinking that this was how I want to lead my life now.Little did I realise, their voice would have saved me from so much more heartaches had I heeded their advice, but that’s life, isn’t it?Sometimes we won’t understand until we experience it for ourselves.

Yet, some lessons are too costly to learn the hard way. Some lessons could change your life, forever.

Don’t do yourself discredit by skipping these questions today because it will help you do what you need now than to struggle with not knowing who you really are or what you really want after you entered adulthood.

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